Online dating site for intellectuals

In a new paper awaiting publication, Rosenfeld finds that the online-dating phenomenon shows no signs of abating.According to data collected through 2017, the majority of straight couples now meet online or at bars and restaurants.With the declining influence of friends and family and most other social institutions, more single people today are on their own, having set up shop at a digital bazaar where one’s appearance, interestingness, quick humor, lighthearted banter, sex appeal, photo selection—one’s is submitted for 24/7 evaluation before an audience of distracted or cruel strangers, whose distraction and cruelty might be related to the fact that they are also undergoing the same anxious appraisal.Read: A psychologist’s guide to online dating This is the part where most writers name-drop the “paradox of choice”—a dubious finding from the annals of behavioral psychology, which claims that decision makers are always paralyzed when faced with an abundance of options for jam, or hot sauce, or future husbands.Last week, I tweeted the main graph from Rosenfeld’s latest, a decision we both mildly regret, because it inundated my mentions and ruined his inbox.“I think I got about 100 media requests over the weekend,” he told me ruefully on the phone when I called him on Monday.Once upon a time, wealthy families considered matrimonies akin to mergers; they were coldhearted business opportunities to expand a family’s financial power.Even in the late 19th century, marriage was more practicality than rom-com, whereas today’s daters are looking for nothing less than a human Swiss Army knife of self-actualization.

That’s because for centuries, most couples met the same way: They relied on their families and friends to set them up.My family story also serves as a brief history of romance. But they’re supplanting the role of matchmaker once held by friends and family.For the past 10 years, the Stanford sociologist Michael Rosenfeld has been compiling data on how couples meet.As the co-authors write in their conclusion, “Internet dating has displaced friends and family [as] key intermediaries.” We used to rely on intimates to screen our future partners.Now that’s work we have to do ourselves, getting by with a little help from our robots.

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