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She tells her lawyer, and her lawyer files criminal conversation and alienation of affections actions against the girlfriend and serves them upon her.Now the husband has a legal mess with his wife and a legal mess with his girlfriend, and the wife knows it.Criminal conversation and alienation of affections actions are unpopular with many lawyers and legislators, and someday the actions may be abolished in North Carolina.

) follows through on getting that next piece of paper—the divorce—from his (ex) wife.Technically, the suit is not “criminal,” nor is one brought based on “conversation” alone.A spouse has a legal right to enjoy the service and companionship of a mate, and if you steal that away—so to speak—the spouse can sue you for damages.It is a mistake, I’ve learned too late, to make public declarations about things like giving up midweek wine drinking or not joining any more gyms during the month of January or never getting an au pair. After too many recent juggling-related mishaps, I have come to the realisation that the only thing for it – for this life of unpredictable work schedules and frequently travelling second parents and childminders spread into the far corners of the county and small people frequently stricken with winter viruses – is an au pair. Too inclined to say the opposite of what we mean, I declared in these very pages with the luxury of one whose childcare arrangements were, at the time, relatively straightforward.I set up a profile on some au pair matching websites, with my own smug warning ringing in my ears. We are a people more comfortable in servitude than being served. Here I am, one year on, redecorating before the au pair arrives.

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